Stop Smoking that Flag

What's it like to be a Canadian? [2013: Ask Taylor Swift.] It may be as simple in some cases as taking an American and supplanting his passion for baseball with his passion for hockey. But for most of us I think our national identity is deeper than that. For myself, for instance, exposure to such local television programs as The Forest Rangers and The Littlest Hobo in youth might have have given me a powerful, subconscious, though controllable urge to fly-fish. (That's when we Canadians have our meetings, when we're down at the lake, pounding back the pints, or in the winter, when we're having our ice-fishing ski-doo parties. Just watch the beer commercials. Sometimes its when we're roller boarding, on our hands.) But certainly hockey is essential. Anyway, one issue which arises when I consider our national identity is the extradition of Marc Emery to a US jail for selling seeds (and effective activism?) I don't know the guy but I met him once. He didn't strike me as any kind of criminal. Quite the contrary. Even after we showed him cards to prove our membership in a pot smoking club, he still only had seeds. I think I said something like, 'You can't smoke seeds,' and that was it. We might have looked silly to him, brandishing our cards like FBI agents. I didn't vote for the Marijuana Party either, back when we still had that option up here. I did, once, vote blindly at a municipal election and favoured one candidate simply because he had the word 'godzilla' - or possibly 'gorilla' - in his name. I'm not proud of it. The pendulum swings back and forth on the plant debate, but there's a root power element in the case against Emery that has now spanned two opposing US administrations. In Canada the government has long since gone from Liberal to Conservative. Don't worry, Brits, a minority parliament can be quite lasting. Painfully so. The charges against him would be laughed out of the courtroom here. What country am I in again? Because the jails in my country are reserved for real offenders. I'm confused. At least in AKA Tommy Chong, the government's target, was living in the same country. There's another one. When you think of these people going down, it's absurd. Some well placed individual is in dire need of a sense of humour. But if you want the lowdown on Canadians, just watch Fox News. Do you like Fox News? They never did find that sea serpent that was supposed to be hiding in the Rocky Mountains, did they? I bet Ronald Reagan got him.
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© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.